As we draw ever closer to Christmas, we are bombarded with songs, films and adverts that tell us that "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!" But is it really?
Certainly for many of my clients that is not the case!
The festive season can amplify stressors like grief, financial strain, difficult relationships, addiction and feelings of loneliness or estrangement. All of us will have some challenging Christmases in our life and if 2024 is a difficult one for you, please know you are not alone.
Here are a few tips and support numbers for some of the most common challenges we see.
1. Coping with Grief During the Holidays
Christmas can be especially tough when you’re grieving the loss of a loved one. You may feel that ache of their presence in so many of your traditions and may even feel guilty for having moments of joy when you're grieving so deeply.
Here are some simple tips:
Acknowledge Your Emotions: Allow yourself to feel your grief without judgment.
Create a New Tradition: Light a candle or dedicate a moment in their memory.
Seek comfort: Whether with friends, family members, community or church, find somewhere that offers you some comfort.
Support:
Cruse Bereavement Support: www.cruse.org.uk | Helpline: 0808 808 1677
The Good Grief Trust: www.thegoodgrieftrust.org
2. Managing Financial Stress
The pressure of Christmas expenses can lead to significant financial stress which can feel like you're drowning.
Tips:
Set a Budget: Be realistic about what you can afford.
Communicate Boundaries: Let loved ones know you’re keeping things simple this year.
Make it meaningful: An offer of spending time with a loved one, cooking a meal or giving them a lift can often be more meaningful that an expensive gift.
Support:
StepChange Debt Charity: www.stepchange.org | Helpline: 0800 138 1111
MoneyHelper: www.moneyhelper.org.uk
3. Navigating Difficult Relationships
Family gatherings can often highlight strained dynamics, you may have challenging people you need to spend time with over the festive period and that may fill you with dread!
Tips:
Set Boundaries: Communicate limits in advance to prevent unnecessary conflict.
Limit Time Together: Take breaks if tensions rise.
Be a Grey Rock: At Beam, we often recommend employing the grey rock technique where you practice being entirely neutral on everything that is said to you and only engage in very surface level conversation.
Support:
Relate (Relationship Advice): www.relate.org.uk | Helpline: 0300 003 0396
Mind (for mental health support): www.mind.org.uk | Helpline: 0300 123 3393
4. Dealing with Estrangement or Loneliness
For those estranged from family or spending the holidays alone, the season can feel isolating, lonely and painful.
Tips:
Focus on Connection: Join community events or consider volunteering.
Reframe the Day: Redefine Christmas on your own terms.
Choose Peace: Do things that bring you peace and make this your main goal for the day.
Support:
Stand Alone (support for estranged adults): www.standalone.org.uk
Samaritans (for anyone struggling): www.samaritans.org | Helpline: 116 123
5. General Mental Health and Wellbeing Support
Many of us can feel stressed, anxious or depressed at this time of year more than other times. If that is you, it’s important to reach out and talk to someone.
Tips:
Havening Technique: A soothing practice to calm your nervous system.
Deep Breathing: Try the 4-7-8 breathing technique to manage anxiety.
Journal: Take 10 minutes a day to write down all your thoughts and feelings in one place.
Support:
CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably): www.thecalmzone.net | Helpline: 0800 58 58 58
NHS Mental Health Services: www.nhs.uk/mental-health
Addiction During the Holidays
Christmas can exacerbate struggles with alcohol or substance use making it feel all consuming and inescapable.
Tips:
Have a Plan: Decide in advance how you’ll manage tempting situations.
Seek Support: Let trusted friends or family members know about your goals.
Small Steps: Take small steps towards your positive goals and don't overwhelm yourself by thinking too far ahead.
Support:
Alcoholics Anonymous (AA): www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk | Helpline: 0800 917 7650
We Are With You: www.wearewithyou.org.uk
7. Facing Domestic Abuse
Domestic abuse often escalates during the holiday season, making it an especially dangerous time for those affected.
Tips:
Have an Emergency Plan: Identify safe spaces and people you can turn to.
Reach Out for Help: Contact a helpline or service immediately if you feel unsafe.
Support:
National Domestic Abuse Helpline (Run by Refuge): www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk | Helpline: 0808 2000 247
Women’s Aid: www.womensaid.org.uk
Whatever challenges you’re facing this Christmas, know that you’re not alone. There are practical tools and professional support available, and a little self-compassion can also go a long way.
If you’re finding it hard to cope, Beam Therapy is here to help.
to take the first step toward a calmer, more empowered you.
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